Going to L.A and returning to NYC


My sister, her boyfriend, my boyfriend and I will be going on a roadtrip..

Many say its not possible to get to L.A  driving in two days. But we will show them, we’ll show them all! In addition to L.A. we’ll stop in Las Vegas, see the Grand canyon an more! It will be perfecto.


Stress cure when alone

I realized something that can help someone keep sanity during times of frustration and stress. Those in that situation with company will usually talk to them and then the partner will be able to console them. The body contact of the other half is the cure of those in relationships. But there are times when one is alone even if they are in a relationship.

 He is not here with me. I see him once or twice a week. I have breakdowns and I experience them when he is not with me. So whats the remedy for solo people who embark on their stress blowout? CRY.

Seriously, just cry it out. BAWL your heart out. Its the best remedy ever…It’s the only remedy. If you cant because of nearby family, then just a few silent tears will do. 

And just remember that whatever it is that you’re doing, It’s for the best. And the outcome will be worth the tears. Remember that It will all be over as soon as the tasks are done. repeat the tasks out loud, say your problem out loud and listen to yourself. Is it really that bad. Remember that you are strong & You’re alive & life will never be easy. And remember that there are people who have it worse than you. Never play the victim.


  I am TIRED of it all. It has come to the frustration phase of the year where finals come up and one starts to wonder what the purpose of the classes are. I want time for myself and when I do have that time I don’t want drama. At my home, I get an hour of peace then boom comes in NAG NAG NAG, yells, unsatisfactory remarks, criticism, and just NOISE. Then I think of all the papers I must write, tests coming up, things i would love to do. And I just see that there is no time for everything. I am IMPATIENT. Is this life? IF not, when does one start living?

…At the end of the day, I can’t do anything about it but strive through. Always have to put a positive pill in my mind so it can numb all of my anger and pain. I will stare at my surroundings and suck it all up. Bottling emotions?…yes and I will blow.

It’s only a matter of time.

Daydream in the Night

Every night, before I sleep, I imagine myself in his arms. Am I going crazy because I swear I can feel his skin and his warmth. I feel the pressure of his arms as they wrap around me as if saving me from a fall. His soft breathing against my ear is my lullaby, the beating of his heart rocks me to sleep. He, himself brings me to sanity and gives me peace to end the day and start a new one all over again.

Who I deserve?

what makes one a good partner for someone? Is it the amount of money one has, is it the degree they are going after, or is it their passion and love.

Although this may vary for individuals, I value passion. People without a passion are dead to me. Guys going for a high degree, I applaud, yet I know the determination and dedication it takes to achieve that. They are not ready for loving a person. Money is something i know is necessary but I do not care for in a person that I will want to share my life with. My boyfriends passion is music and has a tremendous heart. He is not like most guys and I believe that I am fortunate to have someone as caring as him. 

Maybe it’s because he’s my love & i’m blind….no it’s not that. I tend to step out of myself and reflect on what I have done and see the people i am surrounded with and analyze their influence. I also see my actions. With him, there are only positive results.

Confidence and security is an essential part of life. I found that with him and I will not let that go.

My family has a history of being traumatized of leaving their first loves which lead them to adultery in the future with their first loves scarring their families.

This man is my first real love & I’m not following that road.


Aftereffect of Thanksgiving break

I love thanksgiving. I really do, in my house its all about the turkey and the many other dishes that are available to be eaten. I have no fear of my weight so i just munch chump and munch to my heart’s desire. It is beautiful.

Free Write 2— Scars

 In English class, my professor told us to write about a scar that we have.. well lets say i just wandered into my own thing with this.

My scars aren’t visible to the eye,they hide beneath my skin.

My smile covers my scars, letting no sight in.

 I have plenty of scars from past open-wounds that don’t hurt anymore.

they are memories of what happened at that time.

I have a huge scar in my heart caused by my biggest love, my own hero, my all.

The day she left cut open a wound so large, it almost tore my heart in two.

I had a scar on my eye that’s not visible now.

Caused by my hero’s rage and resent towards life.

Bag full of bottles thrown across the room..split open the upper side of my right eye.

I remember I felt no pain from the action, but the intention hurt the most.

My hero, my personal god tried to hurt me and left those scars.

These scars are bad memories & like all bad memories

I bury them inside, invisible to the stranger’s eye.

Free Writing

Him, he knows exactly who I am.

He knows what I actually look like.

From the mole on my head, to the scar near my toes.

Him, it’s him who loves what I am

a wandering soul, lost in this world.

He appreciates my heart, it’s what he loves the most

Because with every touch he gives, he knows for him it grows.

He knows the power he has, He knows how far he can go.

As he captures me with his eyes, embracing my soul.

So as he wipes my tears of the inside with his delicate words

I feel a force within me that I’ve never felt before.

And I fall into this magical abyss, full of wonder, excitement and joy.

Kids and Sex

Facebook is the devil and I have deleted my personal profile a while back. Yet, my family in Ecuador convinced me to make one for personal communication purposes with them. Alright ,though I don’t EVER get on it, I  have one. just for them. whatever.

So after weeks of not paying any mind to it, I check today and what I saw just makes me happy I don’t have a personal profile anymore.

I know this girl, named ..lets call her bubbles. (shes cute)

I have watched this girl grow up since the day she came out of her mother’s hoohah and yelled hello world. I care very much about this girl and she is now 11 years old…

She is 11 years old and “in a relationship” it states in her profile with some kid who calls himself ” Lil’boy” something. Little kid stuff with fb games right? So I see who this Kid is and  I’m looking at his profile and BAM i see that he has a picture of a shitload of  magnum condoms. and some tag name of sex kit. I see his picture and that boy looks like he is 9 years old but probably her age.

I can not stress enough how much i wish i can be a fairy and go to each and every little girl who is wondering about sex and believes that they are old enough  and just yell STOP THE INSANITY.

Sex…Lets talk about sex.

Sex is amazing.  It’s beautiful and the BEST thing ever ONLY and ONLY if  the two persons in that motion are in Love. Only those that have experienced hardships, RESPONSIBILITIES, and are serious can have love and have that wow factor in sex. Having Sex just because you wanna makes the experience so not worth it. PLUS, both must be on the same page with each other. There’s no better sex than being careful and having sex when you both are in serious love with each other. YEAH, sex with strangers is exciting but that ends in like what .minutes?! why have a dab of WOWZAH when you can have a whole lifetime supply. Yes, I do mean fireworks.

Little kids talking about sex is just like listening to a cute baby say SEX. Sex should be a big deal especially to young girls. I wish I can just PLEAD them to WAIT when they themselves and their bodies are ready for that experience. They will be traumatized and scarred if they are not.

Now boys..boys need to stop with their “I’m a man”  bullshit and pick up their G.I. joes and hug their mothers. …I am afraid for my brother. 

SEX IS FOR THE MATURE! 13 year olds  even 16 year olds as much as they want to argue are not mature.

I remember how I was back when I was bubble’s age and even my brother’s age. I had many curiosities, I was no saint.But luckily i had a very direct mother and other things to deal with. I also learned from each and everyone of my STUPID STUPID mistakes. but sex. no. that was never put on the line.  I waited and I’m very happy that I did.